When you were 45.......

Yey, it's my birthday!!  :)  I made myself a promise that I would never become a "Debbie Downer"  {sorry all Debbie's out there} and that I would always be grateful for seeing another birthday.

Of course its made me think, why wouldn't it?  Only I'm not a typical thinker, so I want to share with you where my thoughts have led me on this birthday.

What if I could sit down with some of the women in my family that I never knew when they were 45 and have a cup of coffee (or tea)?  What would I tell them?  What would I ask them?

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My paternal grandmother Emma Bryn Clark, who was 45 years old in 1950.

 "Grandma Clark, you were so brave to leave the Dakota's to come to Indiana and be a farm wife.  How did you leave your Bryn family behind and come and join the Clark family of whom the only one you knew was your new husband Frank?  What was it like being a newly wed and having your mother-in-law live with you? Would you believe that in 2 years you'll be pregnant with your tenth child?!"  (an awesome gal that I call Aunt Sarah) "You are so calm, thoughtful, and never say a negative word about anyone.  I need to strive to be more like that!"

My maternal great-grandmother Bertha Magdalena Vash, who was 45 years old in 1945.

"Great Grandma, what a strong woman you were!  You immigrated to the United States in 1913 and made your way west to Knox County to the coal mines.  In 1945 you had a beautiful, healthy 2 year old granddaughter, but you also had a 3 year old severely handicapped son.  You even had your daughter and granddaughter back on the farm living with you while your son-in-law was in Europe in the war.  I picture you kneading a bowl of bread while speaking Hungarian to little Stevie and wonder if I could have been as patient."   

My maternal grandmother Irene Pearl Goyer Taryayni who was 45 years old in 1966.

"Grandma Mother, how proud you must be to have a daughter who has graduated college as a teacher!  I know you helped work hard to be able to send her to ISU.  You must be busy planning her wedding.  I've already seen the pictures and I can see just how happy that day was for you.  Grandma, I don't think I'm quite as bossy as you, but I do think it's from you that I get my gumption to dig my heels in when necessary."

I've got a lot to live up to, including my beautiful mom who I did know when she was 45.  Trust me, she put up with more then she deserved from me.  But because she knows Jesus, I know forgiveness and grace.  

I will be celebrating all weekend and why not?  ;)

Happy Mothers Day

I can celebrate today for 3 reasons.  Katy, Evan, and our baby in Heaven.

They are the reasons I can claim this day as one to celebrate.  And I still stand in amazement that God chose me to be their mom.  What was He thinking?  ;)  
But I believe that God knows our entire life story, beginning to end, and that He chose me to be their mom.

I want to honor all the mom's out there, especially mine, because God chose her for me.

There have been so many moments where I've caught myself thinking, "I can't believe I'm their mom."
Here are just a few.

When the doctor held them up so I could see them for the first time in the O.R.

When Evan wanted to take his teacher a rose on the last day of Kindergarten.

When Katy and her friend helped carry Evan to the car to go to the E.R. for a nail in his foot.

When they were both so super-excited waiting for their first cousin to be born (Mara).

When Evan cracked the bat and made a grand slam at the Bicknell ball field.

When Katy walked across the stage at her high school and her college graduation.

When Evan had the lead in a drama at the Ablaze youth retreat weekend.

When they both made the Chrysalis Flights at Camp Illiana.

When Evan wanted a chair so he could reach my Grandma at the funeral home one more time.

When Katy told me she would wanted to go to Kenya, Africa with her church on a mission trip.

Yes, I could go on and on and on.  I am so proud of them!
And that's why I love Mothers Day, because He chose me to be their mom!!

Happy Mother's Day!

In Real Life

As Forrest Gump so poetically said once, "It Happens."

What happened?  I messed up.  Yes, I know you're shocked (just kidding), but I now have a permanent stain on my Mom record.

Last night was the Spring Spectacular 2014 Choral program, and I forgot my camera!!!!!!!
I could live w/o another pic of Show Choir, but I can't get back the amazing performance of Evan and his cousin Elysa.  He accompanied their duet on the piano.  Oh to be able to Play & Sing!!  And I didn't record any of it.  :(

But to digress just a bit.  I have also done the following:

• Slept on a futon bed with him until he was 3 because he had to hold my thumb while he slept
• Cleaned up volumes of puke
• Not made a big deal of him wanting to eat only marshmallows and Popsicles for a season
• Rubbed his back as he cried over: a fish that died, a hermit crab that died, a horse that died....
• Woke him up COUNTLESS numbers of times so that he wouldn't miss the bus, be late for a ballgame, miss out on a ride to {wherever}, wouldn't be late for school, etc
• Endangered my own life when I climbed hundreds of stairs to ride roller-coasters with him at Mt. Olympus in Wisconsin Dells
• Washed load after load after load of really putrid soccer gear, ick!
• Sat in the sun, wind, rain, and even snow at countless ballgames
• Dog-paddled in the deep in to catch him jumping off the diving board before he learned how to swim well enough on his own

And I'm sure I could keep going...but you get the idea because if you're a mom, you've done it too.

Still, I messed up last night and forgot the camera for the choir show.

For that I am sorry and I hope that one day (even if it's 20 years from now) he will forgive me.

On the other side of that, for once, instead of looking at life through a video recording....I just looked at life.

And even though I had messed up, just watching and listening in real life, well....it was pretty sweet.

Encouraged

I have been investing my time, money, and nerves into a project this week:  Prom Flowers!

Yes, I'm too cheap to fork over hard-earned cash for something that appears in a picture, gets flung on a table, and, if it's lucky, gets perched in a car dashboard for a while.

So I head out on my lunch break to JoAnn Fabrics for a little "something more" to arrange in a corsage and boutineer.  

When I walked through the door and step my foot inside, it happens once again.  I.believe.I.am.crafty!

But here's the reality, I'm really not very crafty at all.  I worry too much about angles, and matching, and being even.  I can barely run a sewing machine.  I burn my hands EVERYTIME I use a glue gun!  If I don't have a picture of what it's supposed to finally look like, I can't wrap my mind around it.

But when I walk around in the store and see the friendly associates in their crisp aprons cutting fabric, and I smell all the crafty smells.  When I see the kits hanging on display that promise, "Simple" & "Easy", I get so excited and start believing that maybe in fact I am A CRAFTER!

What the Holy Spirit spoke to me was this:  "Am I spending my time with people who are an encouragement to my faith?  Am I spending time with those who stoke my excitement to learn more about who I am through Jesus? Am I setting my foot in places where I am encouraged to stretch myself in the gifts that God has given me?"

42 All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper[i]), and to prayer.Acts 2:42

Gotta love those believers in the early Acts church.  I have to believe that along with learning, fellowship, meals and prayer they also encouraged one another.

Don't waste precious time with people who tear you down.  Chose to be with those who will lift you up, so that in turn, you can lift up others.
Hmmm, maybe I could make some sort of crafty wall hanging with that saying on it.....or not.

:D
Susan